How We Teach Students to Manage Conflict

Dealing with inappropriate behaviours can be tricky for adults as they try and get to the bottom of what is happening and understand the reasons and the reality of the situation. Students involved in an issue often face difficulty as they learn which situations they can solve themselves, and which situations need adult involvement. No school process is perfect. As a school, we rely on students to come forward and ask for assistance as we cannot help if we are unaware.

We will assume that an issue that goes unmentioned at school is one that does not need adult support because it was solved, was minor in nature, or has been crafted in such a way as to generate sympathetic attention.

Students should ALWAYS find an appropriate adult if there is an issue of bullying, threats of any kind, concern for safety, if the situation is aggressive or angry, if they feel they need to involve a group of friends to feel secure, or if the students involved are seeing no positive resolution to even a minor situation.

Students who choose to take escalating matters into their own hands often find that they make the situations worse and end up becoming part of the problem. Sometimes this choice is made because of prior issues, bad feelings toward the person who is the “aggressor”, or because they feel it is their job to fix the problem.  

There is adequate supervision at school. Students having an issue should seek out the teachers on supervision. They are highly visible. If the issue happens in a classroom, or during transitions such as entry from recess, then the classroom teacher should deal with the issue first, as often the issue is between classmates. Whenever possible the classroom teacher will sort out whether the situation is a small or large one and begin to work through whether a discussion or interventions are needed. 

Students who have particular problems with the same student or groups of students should make sure that their homeroom teacher is aware of the issues after it has been dealt with. It is appropriate to seek adult help whenever it is needed. Parents should feel free to contact their child’s teacher if an issue appears to be ongoing. Teachers will work with the student to help develop solution strategies and the school administration will support parents, teachers and students to find a positive resolution. 

Tattling vs Telling – When is it appropriate?

Tattling refers to telling on someone, often as a form of retaliation, for something that has little or no impact on anyone except the person who is "offending." The person tattling may use the complaint as a means of exerting power over the situation or exercising control over another student through adults.

While seeking help is always encouraged, children should approach adults when a situation involves anger, bullying, or a threat of harm (real or perceived). Teachers sometimes need to discern whether a situation is a genuine issue or simply tattling, and they often rely on the expertise of a student's homeroom teacher who knows the student best..